The Baby, the Return, and the Send Off: The Diary of a Teacher in Rural Utah
The last quarter of my second year teaching in a rural school.
This is it, the last installment of my teaching journal! This segment covers before spring break, maternity leave, and the last three days of school when I returned to ensure I got paid over the summer (maternity leave policy in Utah public schools is a topic for another day).
Honestly, I don’t care for the bureaucracy of teaching. I found the assessments frustrating and the system desperately broken. Statewide testing was timed and completed on computers. How could the test fairly assess the content mastery of a group of students who didn’t have access to a computer at home or even the basic command of a keyboard? It felt like these students were being set up to fail. In both years of teaching, while most students improved their skills by multiple grade levels, I only had two students test at or above third-grade level. According to both state and Common Core standards, I was a failure, and even worse, so were the children I taught.
I only taught for two years. I made plenty of mistakes that I still think about. I wish I had been a better communicator. I wish I had attended more events for my students. I wish I’d given students more time to be outside. I wish I’d never taken away recess (I’m embarrassed to admit I even did that). I wish I were more organized. Despite all of these things, I know that my classroom was an environment primed for learning and growing.
As for me? I learned that integrating curriculum with student passions was the key to real learning. It didn’t matter if they met the benchmarks, as long as a love for learning was ignited. Their interest and zeal for the subject matter would make up the difference. I received a grant to bring technology to our school that connected our classroom to virtual field trips. We visited science museums, the Cleveland Conservatory of Music, the National Football Hall of Fame, and libraries around the country. One student was obsessed with Minecraft, so I set him up with Lego world-building software that introduced him to coding. Another student was obsessed with dancing, so we started a Stomp Club after school.
I learned that after basic phonics and phonemic awareness, teaching kids how to read is all about finding a gateway book. After I read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, one student was so invested in the story, he taught himself to read by inhaling the rest of the series- as well as the Percy Jackson series. Another student who struggled to read at a kindergarten level at the beginning of the year fell in love with biographies of women in history: Anne Frank, Hellen Keller, Eleanor Roosevelt, Mae Jemison, etc. By the end of the year, she was researching and reporting on famous women in history every week.
Too often in America, numbers are used to define us and bracket us, to extrapolate who we are and who we can become. These numbers can inform instruction, but too often they are used to condemn or write off students, especially within marginalized populations. However, in this little elementary school, I learned that with the right support and with a desire to truly understand who each student is and teach to their needs, students could be empowered to take control of their education. Learning isn’t necessarily measured by a test but by living intentionally. It was more important to me that students could use math to calculate how many bullets they used on a hunting trip, how much fencing they would need to create a corral for cows, or how much candy they could buy with $5, than if they completed a worksheet.
Here are the final excerpts from my teaching experience:
March 23, 2015
You know you have a problem with chronic lateness when you can correctly position the heat/AC vents in your car to blow your hair dry on the way to work.
March 24, 2015
So…this happened today. And yes, I did get a parent phone call. When my students ask questions, I feel the need to answer.
March 27, 2015
During math:
Me: "I have nine friends. If two-thirds of them have red hair, how many of my friends have red hair?"
Student: "Finally! It's about time you were nice to redheads."
March 27, 2015
Walking to my classroom:
First-grade student: "When is that baby coming out?!?!"
Me: "When do you think it's coming out?"
First-grade student: "Maybe in a couple of minutes or so."
April 2, 2015
Student 1: "Mrs. Barrett, Student 2 dared me to say, 'I love you.'"
Me: "To whom?"
Student 1: "To you..."
Me: "Oh... and...?"
Student 1: "I LOVE YOU!!!"
April 3, 2015
During our morning meeting:
Me: "This is my last day at school for a while. We have spring break next week, and the next Monday, Baby Barrett is due."
Student: "How long will you be gone?"
Me: "About six weeks."
Student: "OH MY GOSH!! That's a long time to have a baby!"
April 13, 2015
Forty weeks and still working (I went into labor the next day)!
May 26, 2015
It’s good to be back for the last week of school!
May 27, 2015
My sub told this story to me:
Students are outside practicing for the dance festival. One student is wearing flip-flops.
Student: "I can't dance anymore. I have athlete's foot on my toe."
Sub: "On your toe?"
Student: "Yeah, to get rid of it, you have to pee on it. I've only peed on it once so far, though."
May 29, 2015
As I was cleaning out my room, I gave students a lot of my surplus things. Some of those things were plastic rings.
Student 1: "Ooooh! I'm getting married!"
Me: "Oh yeah, what's his name?"
Student 1: "Well, I'm a princess, and princess' daddies always choose the husband for the princess, so I don't know!"
Later on, Student 2 was marrying the "princess" (Student 1) and her "prince" (Student 3).
Student 2: "Do you take this man to be your awful wedded husband."
Me: "It's ‘lawfully wedded husband.’"
Student 4 (tapping Student 1 on the shoulder): "Or do you take me, a hott man, to be your husband instead!?!?" (Laughs hysterically)
May 29, 2015
Today was the last day of the school year and possibly the last day of school for me as a teacher for a long time. Though it has had its ups and downs, I can say that I have loved being a teacher overall. I love seeing the way kids think, being a part of their lives, and laughing along with them. I will always look back on these past two years with fondness and with a smile on my face.
I will remember the student who dressed up as a pirate on picture day (with an eye patch to complete the look) because she read "Pirate Day Friday" on the board instead of "Picture Day Friday."
I will remember the student who said they would give a girl a corset on Valentine's Day (corsage).
I will remember the student who told me that what they learned that day was that "mistakes happen."
I will remember the student who told me the socks I was wearing made my legs look fat.
I will remember the students who rocked out during our Friday lip sync battles.
I will remember the student who would rather cut his underwear because it was "too tight" than just take it off.
I will remember the student who went from reading at a kindergarten level at the beginning of the school year to a late second-grade level by the end of the school year.
I will remember the students who stayed after school with me to catch up on math and reading and were sad on the days I couldn't stay.
I will remember how my students cheered when they saw me greet them after returning from my maternity leave.
I will remember the student with learning disabilities who wrote "I don't know Mrs. Barrett, it's too hard" on her state writing test.
I will remember the student who said she wanted to go to college and be an engineer.
I will remember the student who struggled with reading at the beginning of the year, and then after I read Harry Potter to the class and went on to read the next three by themselves and the Percy Jackson series.
I will remember the student who cried about puberty and then marveled as I showed the class my armpit hair stubble.
I will remember the student who said they were sad because they probably/perhaps/may be moving in ten years.
I will remember the students who preferred to stay in for recess to continue working on a project because they said it was more fun than playing outside.
I will miss my job. Thank you, Cedar Valley Elementary, for an incredible two years.
May 29, 2015
Today is my last day ever in my classroom. I will miss this place.