Perhaps those who don’t belong can teach us that it is our communities, and not the individuals who stand outside of them, that need to adapt and expand.
As a man of color, I understand the feeling as I sit with taller, louder, white man and women whose discussion of personal taste in music, food, books is sometimes foreign to me. I love shop talk because there is at least some commonality in the subject matter, but still my voice does not carry across the room, my thoughts are not their thoughts, and my topics seem so less connected to theirs even when they are by nature so much more than those of their white colleagues. They don't listen to me when we are in a collective, though they seem attentive in private. I don't exist in public, but I'm praised for always being there in the personal. This is why scholars of color often gravitate toward each other. It is about becoming public in spaces often reserved for others of a different shade.
As a man of color, I understand the feeling as I sit with taller, louder, white man and women whose discussion of personal taste in music, food, books is sometimes foreign to me. I love shop talk because there is at least some commonality in the subject matter, but still my voice does not carry across the room, my thoughts are not their thoughts, and my topics seem so less connected to theirs even when they are by nature so much more than those of their white colleagues. They don't listen to me when we are in a collective, though they seem attentive in private. I don't exist in public, but I'm praised for always being there in the personal. This is why scholars of color often gravitate toward each other. It is about becoming public in spaces often reserved for others of a different shade.
I love this and know of other women who have had similar experiences in various fields. You did an excellent job in presenting this!
Thank you for sharing these experiences - very important to hear. Your story-telling is persuasive and captured my attention from beginning to end.